ARGGGGGG MATEYS!!! Tis I, the infamous Pirate Captain White Chunks (another nickname I care not to explain so don’t ask).
Tis time for another update speaked in PIRATESE ARRRRGGGG!!!
I am recoverin as greatly as one can after being laid out to fry under that intense sun of the great seas. She glared down on my belly so much that I have red welts as if I were flogged just on me belly! Tis causes me belly to rumble still and for me to feel ARRRRRRGGGGGGGG like I have been maning the deck for a fort night with not but a drop of water to parch me thirst! (in orther words diahrea is still here as well as the tiredness… but its getting better)
The swashbukler Dan that I had yee sending up da prayers fer is feeling mighty fine on this here boat. The scans came back negative for da cancer thing and so he shall not have to walk the plank for that one! Dan is a good swabby cept if he really wanted to he could cause a mutiny on this here ship of mine because he has a good 15 cannon balls on me (about 100 lbs) and can bench press 2 kegs full of the adventist beer (root beer).
ARGGGGG I went a sailing on a trip up to me Mas and Pappies last weekend. Tis a long sail against the wind but I made it just after da glaring sun had sunk into the seas. Had some clerifying to do with the preacher so Is went to de great discussions and da Preachin time (SAbbath School and Church) and had a mighty blessing about me mum (sermon about mothers day). ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG WALK THEE PLANK YA SWABBIES We dinned very fancy like on some vittles det me Ma cooked up and shared with the Pastor and youngins and some of my deck hands (friends).
After shaking off some of the after effects of the vittles I called upon an old man on the sea (Jason my fly fishing buddy) and headed to try our luck on an inlet to see what the tide would wash in. Sadly there were no wee little or big sharks to play with, so we had to settle on them thar basses and such. Little things we couldn’t even have used to bait our hooks ARGGGGGGGG.
Headed to me cabin mates place to blaze some new water toward a secret cave we would stash some loot and weather out some storms. Twas a nice little cave and me and me mateys had some good drinks (water) and some good eats (camp food is not identifyable) ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGG Twas a hard night on some rough planks for some but I found me bunk a nice place to set me boots upon.
The great Sun Day I found myself munchin on some vittles that had been greatly bathered in some sauce and tossed over an open fire to celebrate me mums day (BBQ for mothers day) and then got wisked away with the tide and offshore breeze. Me anchor did not hold true and I found meself cruising back toward me own harbor. Twas a good leave of the lootin and plunderin I typically find meself enjoying. So til next time… Captain White Chunk OUT ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
you write in pirate-speak so well……. how is it that you are grammatically perfect in pirate talk, but grammatically terrible……………………………….. IN ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, im glad to see your adventures on the high seas are rewarding you with lots of booty. Time for another booty call, eh?